15 Questions to Ask Yourself When Pre-Planning a Funeral
Pre-planning a funeral might feel like a tough subject, but it’s one of the most thoughtful things you can do for your loved ones.
It helps reduce stress, eliminates uncertainty, and allows your family to grieve without being overwhelmed by decisions.
If you’re considering pre-planning a funeral, these are 15 questions I recommend asking yourself to help guide thoughtful, meaningful decisions throughout the process.
1. Do I Want to Be Buried or Cremated?
This is often the first major decision when pre-planning a funeral.
Burial typically involves a casket and cemetery plot, while cremation offers more flexibility with remains.
Consider your spiritual beliefs, traditions, and environmental concerns.
Some people also factor in cost or personal preferences when making this decision.
Not sure on your decision? Read: How to Choose Between Burial and Cremation: A Simple Guide for Making the Right Choice
2. Where Would I Like to Be Laid to Rest?
If you choose burial, do you want to be interred in a specific cemetery or family plot?
For cremation, you might choose to have your ashes scattered, stored in an urn, or placed in a columbarium.
When pre-planning a funeral, think about locations that hold meaning for you or your family.
3. What Type of Funeral Service Do I Prefer?
Would you like a traditional funeral, a memorial service, or something less formal?
Some people choose a celebration of life, while others opt for a quiet gathering.
Pre-planning a funeral gives you the chance to create the kind of farewell that best reflects who you are.
4. Where Should the Service Be Held?
Funeral homes, places of worship, private homes, parks, or even beaches can all serve as venues.
Think about what setting would feel most comforting or symbolic.
Choosing this ahead of time helps streamline decisions later on.
5. Who Would I Like to Participate in the Service?
Consider who you’d like to speak, perform music, or offer readings.
You might want specific family members, clergy, or close friends to be involved.
Pre-planning a funeral allows you to assign roles or make suggestions ahead of time.
6. Are There Songs, Readings, or Quotes I Want Included?
Music and words help create a meaningful atmosphere.
Think about favorite songs, hymns, scriptures, poems, or quotes.
Many people find comfort knowing their voice and values will be reflected in these elements.
7. Do I Want a Viewing or Visitation?
Some people choose a viewing with an open casket, while others prefer a closed casket or no viewing at all.
This is a deeply personal choice.
Pre-planning a funeral allows you to communicate what feels right for you.
Unsure if you want a viewing? Read: What Is a Viewing?
8. What Should I Wear or Be Buried With?
Whether it’s a favorite outfit, a uniform, or something symbolic, you can decide what you want to wear.
Some people include personal items like jewelry, letters, or small keepsakes.
If you’re being cremated, make sure your chosen items are suitable for the process.
9. What Kind of Headstone or Marker Would I Like?
If you’re being buried, think about the type of marker you want.
Some choose simple plaques, others go with detailed headstones.
You can select inscriptions, symbols, or even include your own quote.
Pre-planning a funeral lets you make these personal choices ahead of time.
10. How Will My Funeral Expenses Be Covered?
Planning for the financial side is just as important as the emotional side.
Will your funeral be prepaid? Will you use a funeral insurance policy or a designated savings account?
By making a plan, you help prevent unexpected expenses from falling on loved ones.
11. Do I Want an Obituary? Who Should Write It?
Many people choose to write their own obituary in advance or leave notes to guide a loved one.
Think about the tone you want — formal, funny, heartfelt?
Pre-planning a funeral gives you the chance to have a say in how your life is shared with the world.
12. Who Should Be Notified After I Pass?
Create a list of people and organizations that should be contacted.
This might include extended family, friends, employers, religious leaders, or volunteer groups.
Having a notification list makes the process easier during a difficult time.
13. Are There Religious or Cultural Traditions I Want Honored?
Be clear about any religious customs, spiritual practices, or cultural rituals you want included.
Whether it’s a prayer, rite, or tradition, include it in your plans so your wishes are respected.
14. How Do I Want People to Remember Me?
This is a big question, and only you can answer it. Pre-planning a funeral means thinking about your legacy.
Do you want stories shared? Photos displayed? A video montage? A themed celebration? You can shape how your life is celebrated.
15. Have I Written Down My Funeral Wishes and Shared Them?
All the planning in the world won’t help if your loved ones don’t know your wishes.
Write everything down in one place — whether in a Final Wishes Checklist, a binder, or a digital document.
Make sure someone knows where to find it and can access it when the time comes.
Final Thoughts
Pre-planning a funeral is one of the kindest, most responsible decisions you can make. It brings peace of mind, reduces stress for your loved ones, and gives you a sense of control over how you’re remembered.
These 15 questions are a place to start — and they can be revisited, refined, and updated as your preferences evolve.
Whether you’re just beginning to think about pre-planning a funeral or ready to write everything down, you don’t have to do it all in one sitting.
Start with one question, one decision, one note. It all adds up to something truly meaningful.
